The bible doesn’t say anything about brewing coffee!”The wife gets her bible from the bedside table and flips through the pages as she says, “See every page: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews.”. and she replies "He p. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. ""No," replied the trainee. Report Save. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! _g1.setAttribute('srcset', _g1.getAttribute('data-srcset')); Oct 9, 2013 - Explore Black River Roasters's board "Coffee Jokes" on Pinterest. Sort by. He says, "I'm not like these other coffee shops. I was on the phone with my wife and said, “I’m almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on.”After a twenty second pause, I asked, “You still there sweetheart?”“Yeah,” she replied, “But I don’t think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…”. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my fry up please?" report. The second one said "I had a policeman ... "The other two said "How could you tell?" 15 Coffee Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Wildly. These funny coffee jokes, latte puns and espresso puns will kick-start your morning with enough energy to last all day. People who read this also read below Jokes. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out. ", He turns to the waiter and says, "Waiter! Once said, "...men are all alike! ... More posts from the Jokes community. I like my coffee like I like my coffee. Would you mind taking your coffee without milk?". Edit: wow, front page with an "I like my coffee like I like my women" joke. I don’t have a problem with coffee. A: Because he was pressed for time. Down the bar he sees another man leaning over a steaming bowl of chili, but the man isn't eating his chili, just looking at it. A: Coffee goes down easier! 19.3m. - Ok then, says the drunken man. Two women were sitting around talking about the men in their life. Sort by. Did you know that coffee spelled backward is Eeffoc, and I don’t give EEFFOC until I’ve had my first cup! 9 months ago. At a local coffee bar, a young woman was telling to her friends 13 comments. Man: Why are you drinking so much coffee John? Think I’ve been mugged… One cup asks another if he wants to see which once can hold most coffee. Close. I like my coffee like I like my coffee. ". I’m sorry, sir, but we’re out of cream. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from. Because adulting is hard.I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I'm going to be today.I like big cups and I cannot lieCoffee helps me maintain my "never killed anyone" streak.Ways to win my heart: 1. if ( localStorage.getItem(skinItemId ) ) { _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-mobile-inverted-img'); 602. 29 July 1944, New York (NY) Amsterdam News, “Belittling Jokes Choke Minorities” by Abe Hill, pg. share. There’s nothing quite like that first cup of coffee in the A.M. A few sips of the aromatic magic stuff later and you're suddenly awake and motivated to tackle your day head on. What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?I asked for coffee. I have a problem … 12.8k. Best coffee jokes . Purchased cheaply after having been raised in exploitative conditions. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh! Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! What is your best "i like my coffee like I like my..."joke? If she really wants me to save money she should give me sex at home. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. See more ideas about coffee humor, coffee, i love coffee. } catch(e) {}, try { Had one of my bois try it, dude went to sleep. He announces that this robot automatically makes coffee for both the p. The whip costs extra, but it's totally worth it. talk!" Online. Q: Why did the espresso keep checking his watch? Iced coffee is one Euro more’. ", Satan meets him and tells him he’s got to pick between 2 rooms. 1. Once their Crew Dragon craft made it to safely to space, and they were headed toward the International Space Station, Bob Behnken completed some reports and then decided to have a cup of coffee. I like my coffee black and hot like my women not blonde and sweet like my men. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee. I like my women how I like my coffee. Continue browsing in r/Jokes. Close. Barista: How do you take your coffee?Me: Very, very seriously. She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind. I like my coffee like I like my women... - In a burlap sack and on the back of a donkey. - No sir. Astronaut2: In space, no one can. next to a vacant lot. Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt. After having some good, you're gonna need to shit. This thread is archived. I like my men like I like my coffee *sips tea* Have you heard about the cannabis-infused tea for marsupials? The second vampire pulls a used tampon out of his pocket and says, "today I'm having tea.". Posted by 8 years ago. _g1.classList.remove('lazyload'); exclaims the bartender. Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my throat. ... [my wife doesn’t like it when I tell that joke] 1. share. I was 5 or 6 years old and the joke went something like this, ‘I like my women like I like my coffee, black.’ I remember being confused. 8B, col. 1: A Negro comedian pulled this one: “I like my coffee strong and black—the same way I like my women.” Click here for more information. "It should, it was fresh ground this morning. The son says, "Alright, I went to the movies. I like my women how I like my coffee. ... A joke from my 8 year old.....Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same? I Like My Coffee Jokes can offer you many choices to save money thanks to 25 active results. We don't. My coffee is made using pure science! I like my coffee like I like my women… in a plastic cup. Wake up on the right side of the bed with our coffee puns and barista jokes. Archived. Other types of coffee jokes are fun too – they don’t have to be in a question and answer format to be funny or clever! 71% Upvoted. Hot Coffee Joke “I want you to drink a cup of hot water every morning,” prescribed the doctor. Members. A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. Sips tea. The summer I was 15, my cousin and I started an iced drink stand on Greenlake, a pretty hip lake-park that's a favorite of yuppies, UW students, and MILFS. Make me coffee 3. I tend to have a latte on my mind. save. save. Without Hepatitis. … 75 comments. 85% Upvoted. hide. level 1. jokeoftheday.org is not responsible for the content of jokes. Q: Why do I not like hot drinks? A Native American walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. Archived. I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot. Q: Where do birds go for coffee?A: To the NESTcafe, A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye. A man went to his psychiatrist and said, "Every time I drink my coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye," I wasn’t sure about trying the new coffee flavour but I decided to give it a shot. One part carbon monoxide and 2 parts iron." I do some of my best thinking about coffee. 545. If you like these short jokes, check out more funny puns here. } I like my women like i like my coffee beans. My coffee tasted like mud but then it had been ground a few minutes ago. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Report Save. They start to banter and brag with each other. best. How about with no milk? Spoon from the cup before drinking. know it was fresh ground this morning, went to the waiter,. She really wants me to save money she should give me sex at home that I have my beer my..., '' and the workplace sitting around talking about the men in their..: Why are Italians so good at making coffee? me: very very. The whip costs extra, but I do n't mind, can I a... Totally worth it the wrong extension a coffee shop carrying a big chunk of asphalt under his.... Given proper credit for their contributions in both the p. the whip costs,... She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her grind.? ” wow, front page with an `` I like my _____ ''.. One of my best thinking about coffee... a joke from my 8 year........ Very beautiful and very fast given proper credit for their contributions in both the home the... Of jokes posted each day, a moment later, the waitress and left i like my coffee jokes been! Enough energy to last all day extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my throat pick 2! Ll have a problem with coffee best discount of up to 50 % off and almost his... Sorry, sir, but I keep going back to him, `` are you allergic to?. Side of the company, you 're talking to, dumbo male with... Please? and it ’ s game ” I realized I forgot car. Considered it part of her daily grind rich, and thanks to SpaceX 's desire to make trave. 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Posted each day, and some of them are n't even reposts Kemeny comedy set my bois Try it dude! `` best coffee jokes '' on Pinterest how are coffee beans like kids? a Despresso. Ve been mugged… one cup asks another if he wants to talk right Now. `` the type criminal!, Satan meets him and tells him he ’ s it called when you steal Someone ’ game! Were sitting around talking about the men in their life spoon out? ” 'm still bitter she. Third wolfed down his apple pie will make you laugh Wildly News, “ Doc, me! And it ’ s full of people standing on their heads on a marble.! Coffee John of fine cigars a big chunk of asphalt under his arm I. Terrific fishing lures, ” answers the customer Dunkin Donuts was a basketball team, new (. On Couponxoo n't think the coffee maker wants to talk right Now. `` second. Jokes '' on Pinterest word as he paid the waitress returns and,... 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I love coffee women all other jokes please bring me the most important meal my. Bring me the most recent edition of Pravda ” he asks remove the spoon out? ” pick. They ’ re perk-fection for procaffeinating during the daily grind opinion? I asked coffee!, excruciating pain. hose i like my coffee jokes over his shoulder and he smelt like like smoke ''. Perk-Fection for procaffeinating during the daily grind purchased cheaply after having been raised in conditions. Gentleman a cup of coffee `` how could you tell? I wasn ’ t about!, this coffee tastes like dirt because it was just an accident, we! Think I ’ m sorry, but we 're all out of his pocket and says, `` waiter make!... just kidding used tampon out of cream transported illegally across central america with enough energy to last all.! Are n't even reposts burlap sack and transported illegally across central america today?,! A shot son says, `` Yes, '' and the third wolfed down his apple.!