Cheers! 5. Funny Lawyer Quotes “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” —Stephen Wright “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” —William Shakespeare King Henry VI Part 2. If you want to get a girl or guy to notice you, you only have a few seconds to catch their eye. These funny, flirty one liners can help you get your first in the door. Say them with a smile and then hope that your crush has a sense of humor. Clever one-liners … My love for you is like diarrhea. 7 Flirty One Liners For Tinder. Scroll to the bottom of the page for funny poker picture jokes and memes. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection. If you’ve enjoyed these funny one liners on life, you’ll also enjoy these 33 Really Funny Quotes And Sayings On Life. So, when you’re looking to impress the ladies or make your co-workers chuckle, you may (or may not) want to use one of these hilariously bad one-liners. Funny One-Liners. 2. I can’t hold it in. Yesterday I was having a pretty good session at the buffet when I got the tap. I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up. 1. Retirement is just a never-ending vacation. 2. “Lawyers are just like physicians: what one says, the other contradicts.” —Sholom Aleichem 25 Terrible, But Hilarious One-Liners: 1. Witty one liners are jokes that are delivered in a single line. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. But I want one liners. I had to put my foot down. Yes, some of these one-liners are bad, but they’re guaranteed to give you some laughs. These one liners are also short enough that you can use them in a text as well. Spread some happiness with these. 3. Relax, we've got your back. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in the first place.. Funny Retirement Quotes. 1. If you like gambling jokes, check out NoLuckNeeded's huge list of The Best Poker Gambling Jokes & Quotes Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife, honey, I’m home… for good! Enjoy the Dirty Jokes and One liners, No Need to worry just enjoy and leave all your stress in the junk box… Checkout the blow nasty jokes and one liners-Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only f***ing yourself! They are not only hilarious, but can help send the sarcastic remarks and messages in a light way. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. "Sir, the house can not bank your action. Witty one liners means instant laughs. Please reply to this post if you have a joke that should be added. Think about retirement as being two six-month holidays per year. The best part about retirement is that you don’t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. 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